Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
