Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize