Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
