You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
