Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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