If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I looked at my own cervix.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize