Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
