Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize