Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's rum buckets o'clock
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize