Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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