And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
