her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
