Sponge bath it is.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
