I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
