I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
