Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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