I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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