Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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