I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
