I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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