i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
