it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
