bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
do herpes really smell.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
