we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
