It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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