make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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