Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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