She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
