Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
