I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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