i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
