I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
