Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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