if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize