And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
