exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
