Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
