i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
