Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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