it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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