you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
