So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize
