We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
