His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
