that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
