We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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