Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
