I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize