Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
whose parrot is this?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
