I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
