Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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