Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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