i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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