It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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