I bet he comes in French.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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