3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
