you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
