I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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