My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Screwed.edu
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
im six kinds of drunk right now
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
