If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
