So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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