That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
