Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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