Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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